Friday, September 22, 2006

Strip Club Mania

Strip Club Mania or Master's Degree Soroity House :

Having traveled this great land of the US (mainly in the southern states) save for a brief stint in North Carolina. I've frequented many strip clubs. Events this past weekend have led me to this blog posting. It's been said by many a woman that strip clubs just exploit women, blah blah blah. That's merely said by women who've never been to a club. I'll be more than happy to go to a club with any woman and show them how men get exploited.
For a man to pay a woman $20 for a 3 minute dance is preposterous, but we pay it anyway. Men definitely get exploited - $7 beers, $10 shots, making small talk with someone who just wants your money, outrageous VIP room charges. I've seen many strippers work over my friends for dance after dance. One friend in college used to spend his entire paycheck on the one stripper called Angel. He finally wised up and stop going to the club.

Texas strip club 101:
Texas has some weird rules about strip clubs. If you serve alcohol the girls are topless, but if it's an all-nude establishment you can bring in as much alcohol as you want, even a keg or two. And it only costs $7 to bring in as much beer/alcohol as you can drink.

Rubbin's Rules on Strip Clubs:
1. Never use a credit card at a club.
2. Keep a careful track of how many dances you have - the women are sneaky and have been known to exaggerate the number of dances they've done to suck more money out of you.
3. The girls are just doing this while they work on their master degree from Rice, right.
4. Every name they give you is a fake stripper name.
5. The waitresses are hotter than the strippers.
6. Wait for the longest song you know before accepting a dance (I prefer Kashmir, Bohemian Rhapsody, or Dream On)
7. NEVER, NEVER,NEVER go to a strip club with guys that you just met (courtesy of Brrr).

5 comments:

HOV said...

Men are suckers when it comes to strip clubs! And this is only prook of that.

Scopens said...

Another rule...
Never say yes when they just come up and ask you to dance. Make them sit with you a few songs. (Getting to know you ;-))Then if you are still dumb enough to pay them for a 3 minute tease, at least the experience will have lasted more like 20 minutes.

rubbin said...

also
everything is negotiable - especially what goes on in vip rooms.

closet freak said...

thanks, i waited tableds @ centerfolds in my 20's. i learned that generally men are not stupid, however when they walk into a strip club (especially in groups) their i.q.'s drop by 30 points. so i learned to work them. where else could i get a guy to buy me dinner & drinks (tip me for bringing the food to his table), rub my feet while i eat. & then when i say "you know i'm not making any money while i sit here. i need to wait some tables." he pays me to stay longer.

closet freak said...

another rule: pay attention to the bill you hand the waitress. here's my example, a guy orders a $4 beer. when i return he hands me a $50. & i ask, "how much change do you want back?" thinking he handed me something smaller, he says, "keep it" same rule applies to drunk dancers, had a girl order a $10 dinner, she also said keep the change, it was a $100 bill.