This woman goes into her local bar and orders a Whiskey but unusually decides to stand at the bar instead of taking her usual seat. The bar man asked her "What's up" "Oh nothing" she replied "Its just that I have had some tatoos done on my thighs and they are a bit sore still". "Interesting" says the bar man "what are the tatoos?" "Well one thigh has a Turkey and the other thigh has a Christmas tree". Thinking it unusual the bar man asked "Why?" "Simple" she replies" My husband is always complaining about having nothing nice to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas....."
A three legged dog limps into a saloon in the Old West.
He slides up to the bar orders a whiskey and announces "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw!!