Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Craiglist Personal Ads

Not sure if you guys check out the personal ads on Craigslist - but it's funny as hell. Here's one best of posting from someone in Houston about it.

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(Yes, some people fall into more than one category. If I left you out I apologize.)

If all the posters from Houston Craig's List personals were together in one room there would be...

68 People just back from Starbucks and now posting a missed connection
18 Gay men posting a MC for a straight guy
37 People that would get fired for the things they post on RnR at work
19 BBWs looking for love in the wrong place
16 of which are morbidly obese
12 of which are also posting in Casual Encounters
1 of which had chicken wing in hand as she typed
63 People that like to use the term "Gayborhood"
737 People that think they are funnier than they are
698 People that think they are smarter than they are
48 "Str8" guys whose wives are out of town and they'd like to watch some sports with another guy and porn, "possibly j/o or blow each other, but nothing gay."
29 Gay men posing as women
16 Gay men posing as "Str8" guys
1 Woman posing as a Gay man
14 Transexuals posing as women
39 People that enjoy correcting spelling and grammar
18 of which have mistakes in their posts correcting others
7 of which spell grammar with an "e"
48 People who were naked when they posted.
29 People who were drunk when they posted.
2 Middle aged men one of which wants a son the other conspiracy theorist; they will become BFF
1 One smoking hot woman that said she was BBW thinking the BB in BBW meant Big Breasted (Fake that is)
782 People that don't know the difference between There, their, and they're
762 of which are also baffled by It's and Its
29 People that only type with caps lock
1761 People that ignore capitalization
302 of which ignore all grammer rules in general
6 People looking for a 420 hook up
2 People asking what 420 means
13 People looking to party with "Tina"
31 Fat guys in Hawaiian shirts just looking to party
17 Men with their wives out of town looking to "blow a bowl" then be a "bottom" for the "first time"
198 Men would be standing there with their penis out begging to get laid
198 of which posted as "drug a disease free"
42 of which used a picture of one of the other 198's penis as their own
32 of which their genitalia is bright shade of red
17 Dirty old men that say "Race, age, weight, ect don't matter lets just get it on."
167 Utter Jackasses
37 of which their lives will not be fulfilled until they get a Best of CL
12 People arguing with their own RnR alter-ego
1 Married Couple unwittingly exchanging emails with each other after a CE post
61 Women looking for a sugar daddy
3 of which are actually men
321 Women hoping to get the biggest fake boobs they can afford
167 People that don't know what discreet means
183 People that don't know what platonic means
106 People that spell Loser with two "O"s
39 People that post the same images over and over again with their R&R posts
38 of which think a post is not complete w/o 4 of said images
47 Men that like random household objects forcibly shoved up their rectum
18 Men using the platonic massage ploy to lure women
3 Men using a platonic massage ploy to lure men
8 Guys posting crotch shots in holey underwear in CE
19 men that respond to every W4M post with a shot of their penis and have given it a name
3 Men that have responded to every W4M post since the inception of Houston CL
15 People from out of state hating on Texas
243 People who should use a therapist as an outlet not Craig's List
102 Men posting in Strictly Platonic looking for an attractive female friend
102 of which hope that the friendship involves sex
1 of which is 42 years old and wants a son to carry on his family name
11 People posting LTR personals stating they have the herp-herp
3 of which also posted in CE as D&D Free
9 People that think D&D stands for Dungeons and Dragons
62 People that have used the term "asshat", "asswipe", "cuntstick", "fuckwad", or "fucktard" in the normal course of conversation this week.
102 Black women posting for LTRs
93 of which are seeking a SWM
1 of which hopes to turn said SWM into a gimp
103 Married men that answer personals not asking for married men
93 People that completely miss the humor in a post and have to make an angry reply
122 unemployed posters
32 of which posted personals
3 of which are homeless and posting from a local library
46 People posting from jail
87 frequent posters that often post saying they're a first time poster
73 Transvestites
3 of which teach 1st grade
136 Men looking to hook up with a tranny
2 Women looking for some hot tranny sex
293 Posters would qualify as mentally disabled
32 of which frequently post about politics
8 of which are severly disabled and don't know it
49 RnR posters that look just like Linda Blair in The Exorcist when George W. is brought up
3 People in full Ku Klux Klan regalia
203 People in full S&M regalia
23 of which currently have a ball gag in place
597 Haters
and
A countless number of people with nothing better to do but Craig's List at work
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2 comments:

Gaslight ;-) said...

I have never heard the tern "gayborhood". I feel so out-of-the loop. Ironic, no?

RTBW said...

i think i could've gone my entire life w/o knowing that term. but now i can't unerase reading that best-of posting.