Friday, July 07, 2006

Dear Rubbin' - Part II

Dear Rubbin': I think I really love my ex-girlfriend. Should I get back with her? George

George: Act like you're fine with the decision that you two broke up, and start dating other people and be sure she knows. it. People like to think that someone is desireable, so if you sit on the couch and bitch about the past relationship she'll be sure to find out and think it was a great idea that you broke up. On the other hand if you show up with a hotter chick on your arm at a club, she'll get jealous and want to hook back up with you. Jealously is very powerful aphrodisiac.

Dear Rubbin': I'm having a first date with this chick in a few days. What do I talk about? -Joe

Joe: First date conversation starters. Pretty much anything is fair game except sex, politics, and religion. Save those for the second date. I've discovered that women love to talk about themselves, so ask about her family, brothers and sisters, her favorite movies, does she like to travel, does she like her job. Is she into sports, does she play sports. You'll find that all you have to do is keep her talking, don't stare at her tits for too long at a time, try not to oogle the hot waitress or the hottie blond at the bar giving you the eye, and you'll get a second date. Most women have made up their mind on whether to give you a second date within the first five minutes of the date and have made up their mind on whether to fuck you within the first ten minutes. You're just never sure whether it's going to be on the first date or the tenth date. As one woman has told me - once she's making small talk with you you're 90% there - the other 10% is up to you. Always appear sure of yourself - always have a plan on what you're doing. Never ask what they want to do - just say we're doing this, this, and this.

Damn - I should write a book. Rubbin's guide to dating.


Spotty said...

So is that why you're single?

rubbin said...

yep - now you know why.