(1) She says: "I don't want to ruin our friendship."
What she means: I am not attracted to you, or I don't feel enough chemistry to date you -- but I do like you as friend. I want to torture you and tell you about all the guys I'm fucking.
Why she does this: She probably does want to remain friends, but doesn't want to hurt your feelings by admitting that she doesn't feel the same attraction for you.
What you should do: Don't take it personally; she just doesn't feel the same chemistry as you do. Take the hint and work on being friends with her, if that's what you want. But remember you'll probably never be more than a friend. This is the basis for the ladder theory which I'll explain in another posting. The synapsis is women put guys in two categories - friends and fuck potentials. And almost never do they go from one category to the other.
(2) She says: "I'm just so busy with work right now."
What she means: I am not interested in fitting you into my schedule.
Why she does this: She wants to let you down easy. Instead of being blunt, she is hoping you'll just get the picture.
What you should do: When a woman likes a man, she will always find time for him -- no matter what her schedule is like. So don't kid yourself into thinking that the situation might change. Instead, move on right away.
She says: "Are you seeing anyone right now?"
What she means: I might like to submit an application for the position of your girlfriend.
Why she does this: She wants to make sure she is not wasting her precious flirting energy on a man who is already spoken for.
What you should do: Answer honestly, and then hit her up for her phone number.
(3) She says: "I feel like our relationship is stuck in a routine right now."
What she means: I want you to be more romantic and spontaneous, and surprise me more. I need you to pay more attention to my needs.
Why she does this: She doesn't want to hurt your feelings and admit that you are, in part, the cause of the rut.
What you should do: You don't need to change your personality entirely, but it wouldn't kill you to surprise her every once in a while. Call her out of the blue and tell her you're taking her for dinner, go on a spontaneous weekend away, or just surprise her with her favorite chocolates.
(4) She says: "I'm just not ready to make a commitment."
What she means: I'm not ready to commit to you, and may never be.
Why she does this: She uses this tactic to soften the blow; nine times out of 10, this means that she doesn't see a future with you... ever.
What you should do: Don't stick around until she's ready to make a commitment. Chances are, when she's finally ready, it won't be with you.
(5) She says: "I think we should stay friends."
What she means: I am trying to cut you out of my life gradually.
Why she does this: She thinks it would be easier to gradually stop seeing you instead of going cold turkey. She may even want to keep you around as a backup.
What you should do: Stay friends if you like. But don't let yourself become the backup guy. If she wants to get back together down the line, ask yourself if she's only doing it because she hasn't found anyone else.